Vent Post - Broke Female

This is a quick vent post that is the direction of 'what really grinds my gears' type thing.

As you all know, I'm broke - and will be for quite a while... It's expected and it continues... haha

HOWEVER with the Black Friday deal, Cyber Monday, and now a Cyber week. I have an issue.
Where I understand and even participated in the 50% off deals that were going on, I had an issue.
Issue = Have you SEEN my closet?????
I have a plethora of clothing. I donated over 40 shirts to goodwill 2 months ago and I still wade through my clothes. I could probably go a month or longer without doing laundry! (No joke.... you've all seen the VS sales of 5 for $26 on underwear...so that's not a problem)

And now here's the thing - most people say "Oh donate some of it!" DONE, did it.
Or I get the response "You don't need all that clothing..." And here is the issue ... that is INCORRECT.

As a female I require/own:
formal dresses, cocktail dresses, casual dresses, work dresses, multiple pairs of shorts (especially since pastels are in style right now), skinny jeans, normal jeans, boot jeans, maybe ONE pair of cargo pants if I'm lucky enough to have occasion to wear those, dress pants, dress shirts, blouses (yes different from dress shirts), work blazers, suit pieces, vests, tshirts, tanks, casual shirts, and THEN you have all types of bras. Let's not even get into the sport clothing requirements or the PJ's I own. Or the fact that for formal dresses you have to have multiples cuz you can't wear the same dress from one wedding to another......

Anyone remember this movie?? Funny but oh so true.....

I won't even address the number of shoes I own... 

So yes, women have clothing, lots of clothing, enough to clothe a house of 15. HOWEVER, each person would look different. Cuz a woman has to be ready for any occassion!

Hiking - yes
Snowboarding - yes
Wedding - yes
Swimming - yes (5 suits to be sure)
Company party - yes
Ultimate Frisbee - yes

I'm not sure who exactly enacted the decree that we must be ready for any situation at any time or that you have enough random clothing to MacGyver an acceptable solution if needed. When sometimes you should really just not do it:

Too funny not to share.... haha

This isn't really a complaint and I know most women don't complain. We do like to dress up. But as I am currently living on the broke edge, I have to say.

This sh** is expensive.

I'm not even talking designer clothes or anything like that. Just in general, it's expensive. Even at 50% off it adds up quick. So quick.

And on an ending note..... Can SOMEONE explain to me why the average (NON FANCY) Victoria Secret Bra is $50??????    :(

Okay, vent over.

Confessions of a Broke Girl

So, here I am to confess.
Here I am to show everyone that we all fall off the budget truck occasionally...

Kinda like this......

Or maybe more like this.....










Either way, falling off the budget truck is terrifying and painful.

Usually when you're on a budget and you go to 'grade' yourself at the end of the month. There are around 5 possible reactions that can range in severity:

1.) "Omg... I'm WAY under budget!!! YES!! I can go get a milkshake to celebrate~" (Best scenario)
2.) "Oh good - I'm under budget this month" *pats self on back* (Pretty amazing and awesome)
3.) "Snaked in riiiiiiiiiiiiight at budget. Sh** .. could've done better..." (Good but not fulfilling)
4.) "Efffffffff I went over budget. This sucks. No more hanging out with friends for a while" (Truth)
5.) "OMG WHERE DID MY MONEY GO...." *cries in corner*  (Still cries in a corner)

So, as this is the last week in October and I go to 'grade' myself knowing full well it's not been a cheap month...knowing full well it's Halloween and I have a sweet tooth... and knowing full well the likelihood of a 1 or 2 score is impossible. I still was not expecting my grade.... (Damn rose colored glasses)

He's so angry......

And I did have the typical reaction
"OMG... MY MONEY...NOOOOOOO..... *cries*....."

And the Onion is right... it's my fault but it still hurts. The realistic kick in the booty of "I'm not a movie star?" is a harsh one.
Not that I was rockin movie star purchases - just to keep the slate clean...

A majority of my money went towards forms of exercises classes... (yoga, cardio, etc...) that I SHOULD have budgeted into my month. SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD but didn't like a fool.  :(

I made mistake numero uno! Which is spending money I didn't have. I didn't go over by a few bucks (that would have put me in slot #4) I went over by a few HUNDRED.

There were also car expenses in there and loan payments... things like that.

But nothing that should have SURPRISED me.... nothing that I shouldn't have BUDGETED for....

My weakness? .... should I say?....

I spent $90 on books this month alone.... this month alone
(for those of you slower than most, this means cumulatively together... you really don't want to know how much I've spent on books year to date.... to give you an idea, this year alone I've read over 150 books......so yeah... let's not judge... let's just focus on the month of October 2013 shall we?)

^ That price could have been avoided... If I could control the reading urges... and look for sales like I do for clothes  *facepalm*

I also ate out more than I should have this month....

Again - it wasn't necessarily really any ONE thing that sent me over, but it rarely is.

I fell off the budget truck this month ..... hard....

THANKFULLY there is always a buffer built in for this possibility and I'm not destitute... as long as I don't continue to do this.

So...for those of you that are my friends and I hang out with you on a weekly basis... realize when I say I can't afford it... I really honestly cannot afford it.... *see above example*

Can't do it...no way, no how.

I can hangout and I can chat and watch a movie or make dinner and such....but probably no extensive adventures for a while.....   :)

~A

Memories v. Money - Run with the Bulls

Lots of people think you need copious amounts of money to do things truly memorable. Money gives you something that is a one of a kind experience and cannot be matched. 

I'm not saying money CAN'T get you that greedy greedy but what I'm saying is that you shouldn't blame money problems to why you aren't living life. I'm a firm believer in the below sayings:

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." - John Lennon

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” -  John Lennon

 I've found in my old age few years in life here so far that some of the best memories happen when you have the least amount of money. I maintain this is why I was so happy in college. Broke and Happy. LOL 

But in all honesty, most of us in college didn't really mind that we were broke. We were surrounded by friends. Surrounded by people that we were fine just walking around, chillin' in a dorm room, or studying till 3am.

Without money. 

True, in college you have almost no responsibilities or a care in the world and getting a job changes all that. Suddenly you have to CARE (*gasp* OH NOES) and make money to pay for bills. 

**SIDE NOTE** I had to pay for books which really...the cost of that is almost equal to a mortgage... no joke... p.s.  wtf...  haha

So now that I'm currently broke again. You go back to basics - Cheap fun!!

Thankfully there are websites that help with finding cheap things and adventures to do. (Groupon, Livingsocial, Specialicious, etc...)  If you have not heard of these websites...1) What rock have you lived under? and 2) I can't help you much in this post - just stop now.... ;)

So now I stalk these websites like it's my job looking for random ones-y twos-y things that are 'worth it' for the cost.

Danny found one! :)    We had both never been to a winery~ 

This wine is named after the owners daughter~

SOOOO cheap $25 dollars later. We have a wine tasting at The Winery at Bull Run that includes:

9 wines to taste:  (Usually $15 each)

The Reds

The Whites

 A snack was included. (Usually another $8 dollars)... I don't have a pictures cuz we ate the hummus with a baguette in record time.... and it was delicious. The baguette was fresh out of the oven and the hummus was home made.  :D 

The deal also included $24 at their gift store where we bought wine stoppers that you can twist and open up to drink as well as locally made honey. (It's the wine stoppers they have on the wine bottles at the tasting that cause the wine to pour out at a slower rate and are cute) 

Random fact on Honey. Natural/locally made honey can possibly help relieve seasonal allergies as the honey is processed with a majority of the allergens close to where you live. HOWEVER, you can only find possible relief via LOCALLY made honey. The stuff you find in stores is just mostly sugar and high fructose corn syrup... and that relieves nothing but your sweet tooth. :\  (more info follow link: How Honey can help)

So for $20 bucks we spent around 2 1/2 hours just chatting and having fun.... for $20 bucks. 

I'm sure the alcohol probably had some effect for this happiness

Being silly = free

We had food, drink, the outdoors and this amazing view:

Yes...we each got our own glass of wine

To be fair... We each did have to pay for the above glasses of wine. However it WAS ladies night so my glass was only $4. (YAY for cheap again)   

And we had SO MUCH FUN! It was lighthearted running around and laughter. It even had horses in the distance prancing around and frolicking in a field. I mean.... Disney magic was happening.

This may be an a little exaggeration, lie, alcohol induced hallucinations bending of the truth.  But really the best things happen for little money and great company. 

I hope to find more adventure like this while I'm broke... at least I hope I can find more.  :)

BEST quote of the day from our 'Run with the Bulls' Winery: 

Danny: Would it be weird if I chased after those horses?
Me: Yes...however...this doesn't mean I don't support you in this edeavour.

Danny: What if the other horses chase me?

Me: Really....it just takes one angry horse to ruin your day.... 

~A 

Coupons... a broke girl's best friend

Let me say something real quick. Just give me a quick vent moment before starting this out.

When starting something hugely new...liiiiike jumping off a bridge buying a house, please do not delude yourself with thoughts of grandeur. You will hit the water and break limbs be completely broke and frustrated while floundering in uncharted territory. 

However, I personally love having goals and projects on the personal life.

Doesn't mean I'm rich and singing show tunes from the rooftops. (Well.... maybe sometimes.. :P )

My point being - your home is your home. Take time to make it special but also realize that you aren't a Kennedy and nor do you have the funds for installing a wet bar, guest house, and Olympic size pool in the backyard.

...bummer....

What you do have funds for?

Coupons!! 

Be proud of being stingy with money! haha

So remember back in the day when you moved, you would hit up the local post office and they have those 'moving packets' that had coupons in them? Yeah. They don't have those for easy access anymore.
A few bad apples ruined it for the rest of us by skimming those coupons regularly instead of when they move so now, you have to show actual proof of move OR you can just change your address officially online.  :)

When you do ... the world opens up and the heavens sing in amazing notes in the shape of COUPONS.

Look at those gorgeous bar codes~

These are your best friend, your little secret, your wonderful amazing helper in the money suck that is decorating a new house. And those coupons you get from changing your address, ARE GOLD.

Let me drop some rough estimates on places we've spent money so far....

Home Depot: Approx $200  (Coupon for 10% off entire purchase)
Bed, Bath, & Beyond: Approx $150 (Coupon for 20% off entire purchase)
Target: Approx $100 (Coupon for 10% off entire purchase)

This is everything from bath mats, to shower curtains, to those shower hooks, to cabinet/drawer liners, to garbage bags, to paintings, to clocks, etc.... It's amazing what you spend money on.

Macy's has also been quite the B.F.F. during this time and I would say we've spent probably around $400 there so far. We did get lucky at one point though and went when they were having a '25% off everything' type sale. So Lady Luck was looking our way sometimes.

Even with all these coupons I'm still broke this month. I still pay bills weep, cry, and scream and cringe as I see my credit card swiped again and again to make my house mine.

But it is mine. And I love being able to say that.

And even though I die a little on the inside as the money flows out of my bank account, I smile as I walk into my kitchen:

Worth it

I grin and giggle as I see my newly painted office and wonderful desk~

SOO Happy it's NOT PINK haha

Those things above make the effort worth it. Make all my broke days and frustration melt into a sense of accomplishment and a single word. "Mine"

We did this, we helped create this home, this beautiful place to stay and relax.

Still broke as broke can be.... but I'm happy.   :)

~ A

Painting Project - The before - Part One

I call this part one because let's be honest.... We're in the beginning stages. Which means there's only one way to go...

Spend more money  *sigh*

Painting.... I know we touched on this briefly before.  And here I'll share some photos:

 So, we taped up the plastic to cover all the floors to make sure we don't spill anything (this is very important) and we called it our 'Dexter' decorating. (If you don't get the reference, look up the TV show 'Dexter'.....  :D )

After a few days of priming and painting though..... all the good plastic taping intentions were gone out the window. It all pulled off, got rumpled and just became a pain in the rear end.  >:[
So then you get a system of 'Move the ladder, move the plastic to make sure it encompasses ladder, climb, paint, repeat'

Side Note: Painting... hates short people. I MAY be bias...just sayin...

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We then also taped everything else:

Yep... the 'Sweet Frog' room

We taped the baseboards, the closet, the window, and the door frame. What we did not tape and a few days later wish we had? The ceiling and the wall. Now... the ceiling would have been all around the best idea. The wall I mean is that one on the left side (in the picture) is my accent wall. I really should have started with that wall painting, waited for it to dry, taped it off in the corner, and then painted my neutral walls.

Did I do that? Of course Not....

Did I do this the hard way? Absolutely...every chance

So what do I need to do?? buy more paint (contractor white for the ceiling) and fix the mistakes  .... *cries in corner*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So after taping and before painting you also do putty fixing:

Look at alllllll those holes we had to fill in -__-

So, the people we bought from were firm believers in having nothing on the floor.
I agree with this technique as it makes your home more pleasing to the eye and easier to clean.
HOWEVER, that means when we puttied in all the holes.... there were a bazillion...

We were impressed.

Also, after you putty the walls you get to sand all of it before painting. Then after sanding you have to clean all the walls T.S.P.

Please note: When handling T.S.P. please wear gloves, we didn't.... our hands looked burned afterwards and were slightly itchy.... pretty sure it's not a good thing.

This whole painting business has been quite involved and convoluted and a learning experience. I get frustrated by it but it's enjoyable at the same time.  :)

(If I had to do it again.... I'd probably hire someone..... LOL)

We are STILL in the middle of painting and I hope to have more pictures soon of the completed rooms.

I'll mention a few other noteworthy moments so far in our paint adventure:

- The first primer we used on the walls?
Never dried and became an oily substance that when we used the second primer to cover it up....wasn't quite sure what color it wanted to be. We currently have a trippy white/green color thing going on....
- Get two ladders....
If you have multiple people painting, you DEFINITELY need more than 1 ladder.Otherwise, you're holding up both rooms and won't complete either one in a timely manner.


~A

Budgeting When You're Broke

I am very familiar with being broke. Not to brag or anything (shakes head).

When I graduated from college my first job with a stellar 4 year degree.....paid under ....let's just say not a whole lot to live on....in an area (NOVA) that you can't even live by yourself on that salary, much less feed yourself.

This was of course after applying to multiple places (15...who counts?) in one night much less for 2 months with 4 interviews and no call backs (discouraged didn't begin to describe it...). HOWEVER, I wanted to not be broke so I did a temp job and part time job till I finally got my full time job.

I was soooo excited cuz even struggling broke full time is better than completely broke part time.

Helloooo silver lining ~~ Full time *victory dance*  (ARR eflon on flickr)

In my first year of employment, I was able to save 15% of my GROSS salary. *pats on back*

Did it suck? Yes
Did I go out much? Nope
Did I buy nice things? Nope
Did I eat out much? Maybe 2 times a month?

Really what it boils down too - I cut out all luxuries. All of them that were possible.

This first year is also when average gas prices were $4.11 a gallon.

That sucks... a lot....

If you're interested in having a completely OCD budget like myself, this is usually how I start it:

Add together the 2 paychecks you get a month, immediately subtract out how much you'd like to put in savings. (Please note: How much you put is savings is dependent on how much debt you have, debt should ALWAYS come first.)

Let's say I make 10,000 per month (I wish!!) and I want to put away 3,000 in savings.

Create a template and AUTOMATICALLY say you only have 7,000. You no longer have that 3K, it's not there, you don't have it, pretend it doesn't exist any more. (Unless you have a huge emergency, in which case, of course you access this).

Next, you should take out rent and/or debt payments (loan payments for college, car, house, etc...)

Let's say this person has a monthly Condo fee of $2,000.00
HOA fee of $350.00
Cell phone fee of $100
Internet & TV fee of $150
Utilities fee of $250

We are now left with how much? $4,150.00

Now let's estimate some other fees: Do you have animals? Subtract the insurance.  Do you have a gym membership? Subtract that out (note: the gym is a luxury....running outside is free....). Do you have other monthly expenses? Subtract them out now AND ALSO review them and ask yourself if you ABSOLUTELY NEED THEM. You may find out you don't..... *crosses fingers*

Estimate you gas money: I'll be honest - Mine is usually around $150 a month (oooooouch)

All these things add up, and I know none of them look particularly new. Do you see where I'm trying to go with this??
We all have rent, we all have cell phones, internet, utilities, etc...    Buckle up and take a good look at where your money is going!

OH GAAAAWWD NOOOOO (ARR Intelligent Sweetie Flickr)

I remember one month (after my first year of work) when I was feeling good and comfortable and I looked at my budget.... I had spent $200 on books.....in 1 month...ONE... yeaaaaaaaaaaa. I can't do that. I can't even rationalize that... honestly.... hahaha   It was me being stupid and not looking at where my money was going. HUGE MISTAKE - I CANNOT BE TRUSTED IN A BOOK STORE.  :\   

You might cry at the results you find and be terrified at how much you spend.

That's okay.

This is a learning experience. It's to make you think before you swipe that credit card. Cuz guess what?? You shouldn't swipe it if you don't have the funds to back it up!!!

Rules to live by:

1.) You should always have enough if your checking to pay off your credit cards fully.  
Why would you have a CC with a limit of 50K....if your GROSS salary is 50K....this is just trouble waiting to happen...seriously

2.) You should always put money towards savings - ESPECIALLY if you have a lot of debt.
Even $50 a month is something to work with. The goal is to have around 3 months of expenses available in your savings at any given time. 

3.) Do NOT live paycheck to paycheck
You should not be looking at a check of 5K thinking, 'OH I have a complete 5K to spend on whatever I want' No... it's time to be responsible (And thank your guardian angel that you somehow ended up with this check). Bills, Debt, and Savings come first. You can't buy that iPad when you have to pay rent.

What have been my main 'other' expenses this month?

Food
Paint (Daaaaaaaaaaammit)
Gas

I think that's it... I may have a $5 movie night in there or two. Cuz I am a full believer in the reward system. 
If I'm doing great with my budget IT SHOULD NOT HURT ME TO SPEND $5!!  Why? Because I've built that buffer in there. If I'm budgeting well, I can make a mistake, or have an unexpected expense, or maybe my car gets towed, and I'll be able to pay for it. WITHOUT freaking out that I won't be able to eat this month.


A budget is there to catch you when you fall, not to prevent you from flying.

People run into trouble only when they haven't thought about that 'falling' part, the 'consequences' aspect. A good budget-er should never be saying"

"Hrrrmmmm rent or booze, rent or booze? Well rent I pay in 2 weeks but I want booze now. Booze it is!"

^No.... just no.

Safely tuck away the money you MUST have and then all the rest is yours.


~A

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~P.S. If you would like help with your budget feel free to ask me questions or leave a comment. I even have a blank template I can send you if you're interested~

Paint.... just take my money.....

So after buying a house, naturally you want to make a budget. You know, to make up for that sudden brokeness and the emptiness of the bank account?

But some things are just unavoidable.... such as the below:

Yeeeeaaaah... that's not a liveable color...

Ummmmm......No... Well... if it's the guest room..maybe.... haha

So this is what I'm dealing with. I have a powder pink room and a pastel green guest room. We also have a green living room with cherry floors.... no... just no.

SO the best laid plans and blah blah blah came crashing down when we went paint shopping this weekend.

Here I am on a budget of "NO SPENDING AT ALL" (maybe not that severe....) and then we go to the paint store....   anybody know how much a normal gallon of paint costs? ummmm Around $50 bucks. Soooo If you want to paint 3 rooms... the paint alone (estimating 2 gallons per room - NOT including primer) is around $300 plus the tools to pain (paint brush, roller, tray, tape, etc....)

LUCKILY I had a coworker looking out for me and let me know that Sherrwin Williams was having a fabulous 40% off sale  *victory dance*

Meaning what could have been horribly detrimental to my budget via paint firing squad... turned into more of a sissy shot to the shoulder:

180.28 + 106.64 = $286.92  (ouch)

 Not too bad. However... this was just the 4 gallons of paint, a paint brush, and some tape.... that's it.

So we went down the street to ACE Hardware and bought some more things cuz they had a 20% sale. Where we spent another $40 dollars.

So our total so far was: $220.28

We didn't buy primer or rollers or any of those things at this point cuz Danny's Dad luckily had a lot of that and we could save money borrow share use this as long as it's in good condition upon return.

So back to my budget..... or lack there of.....  *cries*

This is just the first step... we are also calling around for carpet cleaning (estimated at around $180 NOT including pet treatment) and then I thought about maid cleaners (estimated around $100 depending on number of people and number of hours) and I think to myself......

Budget? What budget?

Oh and P.S.  Why is PAINT THE MOST EXPENSIVE  *eye twitch*  In what world does that make sense??  

In all seriousness though, my budget = me not buying and spending frivolously so we can afford to get things done that need to be done. 

Which doesn't necessarily mean you DON'T have the money, but that you actually have the discipline to use it for 'the greater good'. (not cookies or alcohol)

For me right now that's my house. For some of you it could be savings... or a car.... or a computer.... or heck, a trip to Disney world (please take me with you)!!

Budget is the difference between controlled splurging (little of an oxymoron there) and someone telling you 'this is the reason we can't have nice things....'.

Discipline! (And reward system) My pretty house is going to be a HUGE reward. :)

So....bye bye happy money.....   

Can't wait to invite my friends over and celebrate~~  :)

~A

(If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment)

Murphy is a Homeowner

Just to start this post out correctly, our motto for the purchase/loan process is:

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong"

Not to say that the loan process isn't already stressful and time consuming and a royal pain in the rear end. Just... we apparently got more than our fair share of butt pain.  :(

After your offer has been accepted you can break the next 30 days down into general main points:

1. Interest Rate Lock
2. Home Inspection Contingency
3. Home Appraisal Contingency / HOA Contingency
4. Financial Contingency/Loan Approval 

In our case we had another point to add that caused some difficulty:

4.5. Post Occupancy Agreement

^ Just going to put the disclaimer now.... I'm not responsible for me language when we discuss #4.5.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Interest Rate Lock:

To give perspective of our first unfortunate occurrence. When we started looking at houses in April 2013 the interest rates were around 3.6%...... between late April to when we won our house early June, that rate had gone up to 4.125%.   (Ouch...the pain..... *cries*)

When we started looking our realtor told us that they doubted it was going to go above 4% by the end of the year......... riiiiiiiiiiight..... The current Interest rate as of today, this minute (looking at USAA) is: 4.625% OR 4.5% (depending on if you want to take on points or not)

Points are basically when you pay more money at closing to get a lower overall interest rate but depending on how long you want to live in the home....that may or may not be worth it.

So in just 2 months the rate went up 0.525%, which is hefty. BUT I'm so happy we locked it in! We were both a little cautious of locking in our rate and were very close to letting it float for a few days to see if it would drop. (THANK GOODNESS WE DIDN'T!!)  

I'm not saying for you to rush in buying a house or to rush in locking in your rate. I'm saying, for the 2 month housing market we were buying in.... the economy started doing better, houses were going up in prices, and interest rates were following. By no means is 4% bad.... remember.....they used to be 10-18% a few years ago.   (I would cry if we had that rate....)

And to further explain how well the market is doing here in Northern VA. Our realtor informed us on our closing date (early July) that as of end of June 2013, they had already matched their profit from previous 2012 year......and 2012 was a record year for them.

Realty is looking pretty good right now......
(All rights reserved Joseph Mollohan/flickr)

House Business is boooooooming......... and we just threw our money at them  haha   :D

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Home Inspection Contingency

So we closed on a Friday and had our Home Inspection schedule on Monday (High fives for no lag time!!) We were feeling great and on time for this and started the loan process with our lender. Our lender was happy with the schedule and even wrangled our appraisal for the Tuesday. SO day 1 we had offer acceptance and by day 2 and 3 we were going to have Inspection and Apprasial done.

We felt pretty awesome.*takes a bow*

Until the lender asks for any and all information on your life including but not limited to:
3 years of W2s, past 3 months of bank statements, 401K, proof that you pay rent on time at your current place (EVEN IF YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS....must be a signed form confirming that you paid on time <---- that happened to my coworker), they charge you again to check your credit, they need to know a bunch of information that unless you're OCD (which I am), still get paper statements (which I do), and keep any and all information about yourself (...at this point I'm just anal retentive...).... it's going to be a stressful and long process for you (..it still was, even though I was prepared). 

However, our Home Inspection went off without a hitch and we only had 2 major concerns that the seller confirmed quickly that they'd fix. (Wood rot and sump pump issues)  *victory dance*

Most sellers are understanding about fixing issues found during the home inspection. This is due to the fact that if you utilized your contingency and back out of the purchasing contract........ they still have to fix the issues cuz the next buyer will want them fixed as well.

(ARR, MyLOLCats)

Everyone Wins~~~

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Home Appraisal Contingency / HOA Contingency:

This whole 30 day closing/loan approval process is about contingencies and providing more proof to one entity than you ever have in your life.

So since our Home Inspection went well, we moved onto the appraisal and HOA information.

Our Appraisal WAS completed on Tuesday...however it can take up to 2 weeks for the report to be available and the price of your house to be confirmed. (If you're house is under asking, you can back out of the contract. If it's over asking, you better be SUPER happy and do a victory dance cuz you already have equity.)

So while we waited for the Appraisal report, on Wednesday we received the HOA documents. For those who are not aware, HOA stands for: Homeowners Association. Per Wikipedia "a corporation formed by a real estate developer for the purpose of marketing, managing, and selling of homes and lots in a residential subdivision." What they don't say?

HOA, while a good and long standing practice, can technically evict you from your home if you don't follow the rules and are willing to be as harsh as possible if you are even a millimeter out of line. (so...no pressure)

When I say we 'received the HOA documents', I don't mean 1 or 2 forms. I mean, the seller actually had to pay for us to get this electronically (I think it was around $250) and I proceeded to print off binders of information.

*cracks knuckles* we got this!!! (ARR, pjohnson7591/flickr)

We had 3 days to review these. 3....days.....  3....

I'll be honest. We didn't get through all of the reading. We read the main points and the addendums (because if it's been updated 3 or 4 times, you want to know why).

So even though you have the option of within 3 days of recieving the HOA documents, that you can back out of the contract. I doubt many people use it. Just because you have to mull through pages upon pages of information.

And I like to read...... O.O

Either way, our Appraisal did come back 2 weeks later for the exact amount that we were paying for the house. Which is a common thing that happens. So in this we were lucky.

Let's take a moment to reflect on the bad things that happened by this time:

*~*~*~*~*~*

Murphy Playlist:  

(ARR, Thomas Hawk/flickr)

+Your lender will not accept anything in email that is other than .pdf. No screen shots, no png files, no picture jpg files. PDF PDF PDF
+ Your lender/processing agent does not pick up the phone when you call
+ Your lender does not confirm when she receives documents from you via email or fax
+ Your lender takes 2 days from you emailing a question to respond
+ You have called your Processing agents manager twice because she is so unresponsive and you need to sign documents
+ Your agent doesn't tell you what she needs till the last minute then won't pick up her phone, won't explain things, and won't email you the information needed.

These are just a few, we are about to hit the fun number here with all the others...our wonderful 4.5   *Bangs head on desk*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Post Occupancy Agreement

How innocent this sounds. It just means the seller will be in your home after you buy it for a bit. They'll even pay a prorated version of your mortgage, including insurance and escrow.

Our lender did not like this agreement.

When dealing with our lender, I didn't LIKE this agreement.

Our lender half way into our loan approval/closing process tried to deny our loan saying that 'since you are renting after purchase, this is not your primary residence and we can't give you the interest rate based on a primary residence".

Exsqueeeeeeze me?

They wanted to give us an interest rate based on it being rental/investment property, which is around 2 points higher.

Over my dead and chilling body.

I emailed back in a flurry asking what I needed to do as it WAS OUR PRIMARY RESIDENCE. They just needed time to pack up their children and move out of state. Of course, our agent didn't respond. I called.....no response. I left messages, no response.

I called our realtor who was shocked "Unfreakingbelievable, I've never heard of this happening" (So happy we could start the trend). He mentioned that there should be a rule/law saying we have 60 days to prove primary residence. aka. move into our new home.

I latched on to that hope.

I called our agent again, no response, left another message. I finally ended up calling her manager who confirmed that we have 60 days to prove primary residence. (Thank goodness!!) She then tells me she'll personally look into it and let me know.

*2 hours pass*

I receive an email from our agent, and how do they respond to my frantic cry for help that I sent 5 hours previous in regards to the 'we will have to deny your loan' statement??  "Please talk to your realtor".  What? Huh? Why??? Why would he know, you're the one with the loan rules?!?!  (Not to mention, I already had talked to him....thankyouverymuch.....youthinki'manidiot??)

So I responded back as calmly as I could informing her I HAD spoken to our realtor you horrible person and that in fact I had spoken to HER manager take that you lazy sonofa and had been assured that I have 60 days and I click send on my email.

Well lookie there???? I immediately got a call.

I didn't argue...accept and make it work.

Our agent began to profusely apologize saying it wasn't her that needed it but the underwriters request and that she didn't mean to make me stressed and worried and that she didn't mean we'd lose our loan and that I should take it that way. "You said the words, not approved for a loan" "no no that would be the last resort". Fine. Whatever. I. Don't. Care.

Fix it.

By this time it's around 3pm and I'm completely stressed out from this personal experience and work and want to go cry in a corner or eat a million cookies. Or both. At the same time. Sugar cookies if possible. Maybe with donuts.  :(

Anywhoooooo

I get a response at 430pm telling me it was all a huge misunderstanding because we had the Post Occupancy Agreement and that they just need a Letter of Explanation and Intent from us.

I was not happy. Not. Happy. BUT this was progress and I could write what was needed to make sure we get this approval.

I spoke with the realtor who was laughing in pain from this ridiculous situation and said he would talk to the sellers to find out EXACTLY why they needed to stay. I received that response by 5pm. By 530pm I was home and googling templates for this....only....they don't exist. There is no "Template for Letter of Explanation and Intent for Primary Residence". There's one for moving out, why your rent is late, etc.... none for this situation.

What the heck, we were already trend setters... let's make our own template.

I spent 3 hours writing an all encompassing, beautiful letter of explanation and intent, had both of us sign and initial the pages, and sent it.

It wasn't till 2 days later that they even confirmed receiving it and they never really officially confirmed that underwriting was okay with it.  *pulls hair*

Moving on

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Financial Contingency/Loan Approval 

So at this point we are 6 business days out and they are re-asking for documents they already got and re-verifying information and I've become such a pain in the neck for my agent that her manager assigns a Senior Mortgage Processor to help them out with our account.

I feel special.

So, around 5 business days before closing our realtor sends us a 'Howdy email' saying we need to release our financial contingency. I calmly reply back letting him know that we can't as we have not gotten approval from our lender for the loan yet.

Apparently it's common for lenders to have final approval on loans till day of closing just hours before.

Homie don't play that.  (If you know what show that's from....you're old like me!)

So, instead our Senior Mortgage Processor who is amazing and her job and just a fountain of information and help, provides a commitment letter, saying that we will get final approval as long as A, B, & C are met and they receive X, Y, & Z. Our realtor receives this to pass on to the sellers.

That was on a Friday.

So Monday roles around and I get an email for 'virtual signature' a contingency release form. Oh no. Nope. Nope. I won't go verbatim of my email response but the summary is: Unless he could assure me 100% that if we signed that form we would NOT be on the hook for hundreds of thousands IF our loan fell through  then sure....I'd sign it."

He ignored my email and sent another asking me to sign. I said "When you confirm, I'll sign"

He couldn't give me that assurance, he couldn't tell me that we, as freaked out new home buyers, wouldn't be straddled with the possibility of bankruptcy if we signed this and our loan fell through.

*facepalm* (ARR, Laurel714/flickr)

P.S. All this stuff above ^....all that unnecessary stress happening up there. WOULD BE MOOT IN 3 DAYS WHEN WE CLOSE.  Why did it have to happen now?? Why??

Well, because the seller currently bids on a home and has to put in their contract "We will buy your home if our home sells". If we, as buyers, sign the contingency release, they can remove that little clause cuz we then would have to buy their house loan or no loan.

So, in my frustration and OCD confrontational manner - addressed a very nicely worded email to our lender asking when we would get approval. When I KNEW  4 people at work that bought houses recently (one of them closed just the week before us), didn't get final loan approval till day OF closing.

Guess what? A miracle occurred. 

4:45pm 3 days before (so really 2 days before) we got an email response saying we HAVE be given final approval and that the corresponding documents would be sent over the next day. So then we signed the financial contingency that night and sent.....no problem now.... we had the funds.

Another to note though:
Since we were refusing to sign this contingency, we were technically in default - which means the sellers could sue us (up to the cost of the house) or void the contract and look for another buyer.

Here's the thing - to void the contract they had to give a full 3 days notice....so they couldn't do that at this point, there was no time. They're only other option was to sue...which still wouldn't sell their house when all they want to do IS sell their house.
I just wanted to point out that we weren't not risking things by not signing, we were. We just risked weighing the options as well. If we had signed and the loan fell through, we would be responsible IMMEDIATELY for the full amount of the house. Which would cause bankruptcy, which you have to report to your place of business, can cause you to loose your clearance (if you have one), and then your job if you can't work without a clearance? So do you see the things we were and weren't risking?

Make sure to always do your research. ALWAYS.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We still had a few other bumps before closing and day of closing. We had never received the receipts proving that they fixed the things in the home inspection. Oh...no worries..... I got them.

And then day of closing....not all of our money wired successfully *sweats* and if they didn't have it within 24 hours of signing all those closing documents.....everything would be void as it's not a valid transaction without the money..... *sweats*

We got this *fist pump* with a few hours to spare even  LOL

We now own a house.

Let the money spending continue~~~ and remember "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong..."

Haystacks and Needles - House Hunting

I'm currently in the age group of house buying, marriage, and babies babies babies. (Yes.. some are on their 3rd) O.O

I already have the makings of a homebody (bookworm that I am) and finally after 5 years in the working world, figured I had enough funds to get myself a little home of my own.

Everyone is doing it.

People usually like doing easy things.

So: House buying = Popular Easy Not difficult 

Lets talk about how I was wrong on that last one....

Do you know how easy it is to get pre-approved for a house? Let me provide insight...
You call a lender (broker, bank, etc..) tell them estimated numbers on your income, savings, & checking. They take a minute to run your credit score and BAM you are preapproved for half a million.

Are those people nuts?? Am I nuts for doing this??  

Probably.   *sweats*

The best part for me in this process is the window shopping. I say this because you can see all the cool stuff without being attached to the price tag and you get to live vicariously through other people.

I love it!! Let's buy it!!...oh....how many million?...no thanks....
(all rights reserved to xeno on flickr)

However, it's also slightly discouraging, ESPECIALLY in the northern VA area....as you find out how far your $$ does stretch (hint: not far).

My god... this house is perfect!! A box of my own! Only 500K....sign me up!!
(all rights reserved to tacoma290)

How many people go to open houses? *sees some raised hands*
Now, how many people have gone to an open house within their price range, for fun? *crickets*

You usually only look 'within your measly sad discouraging affordable price range' when you are looking to purchase a house. There is a lesson to be learned real quick in this Open House search.

Needle...meet haystack.

Let me define this:

Haystack Houses: Open Houses that are done to get people willingly going into a house you otherwise wouldn't look at if someone paid you. They even serve cookies at these open houses....yes... Sugar cookies were my favorite.

Needle House: This Open House is one that has been put on the market due to the seller needing to relocate quickly in relation to work, life event, etc...   These houses are few and far between and are rarely on the market for more than 3 days.

We searched through quite a few haystacks, probably 20-25, before finding 3 needles. (You can probably guess where this is going...) Clearly, we didn't buy 3 houses. Remember? The Box.... The Cardboard.... That's the dream. Not 3 of them. 3 is just greedy.   

Needle #1: The Fixer Upper

Ok... it wasn't this bad...or this big.. (Dempster Lane)

This house was well within budget and amazingly maintained. It had 3 bedrooms, a nice kitchen, gorgeous master bath........


It was a trap.

Not at first glance was the trap noticeable, or even the second. But I think the second was due to the fact that we were first home buyers and weren't all that savvy on what we were willing to spend money on AFTER becoming indebted for hundreds of thousands. In a nut shell, naive. We were naive.

We had on the rose colored glasses and were drinking the koolaid of "This will be the amazing dream home that we can design ourselves and build from the ground up and love every minute!"

The reality: It had a roughed out basement, that was underground and would require radon testing, drywall, intensive building out, and lots of money.

We did our research and come to find out? Completing a basement costs a good $15-30K depending on the size and whether you want it to be liveable or not.

But we were hopeful and naive!! What did we know? FULL SPEED!

We bid on it.

In our defense, we bid under the asking price. (A sub-conscience cry for help?)

And we got contacted back by the seller saying they accepted.....IF we gave them asking price. Now, we did consider this offer, we did. However, after doing our research (Thank you sweet higher power that was there for us) we decided it wasn't worth the effort. Which if it's not worth the effort for us, it's just not worth it. Do NOT be afraid to walk away when they counter offer. You are spending a bunch of money to be HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS in debt.... for 15 or 30 years, depending on your ambition.

What was the result of us declining?
That house stayed on the market for more than 25 days after we declined offer...... meaning? Everyone else discovered the same thing we did. Not worth the price.
(*pats self on the back for being part of the smarter majority*)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
From our first Needle we had learned so much more! Don't bid. Don't bid. Don't bid.....UNLESS it's amazing. Unless you love it. Unless it whispers sweet nothings in your ear and holds you by the gonads! (...to far?) *shrugs*

This leads us to our Needle Numero two...... 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Needle#2: Too Good to be True!

It's perfect!!!  Wait...what's the catch?

So we looked at around 8 more houses before we got to Needle#2.

How many people watch HGTV? I know I'm not the only one that has this guilty pleasure.
You know how they take the people to see 3 houses? They show a Moderate one, then a crappy one, then an absolutely freaking amazing one right at budget or right over budget?? Yeah??

We got HGTV'ed.....hard....

We went and saw a house before our dream home that was just ok...not really inspiring but really in all honesty, it wasn't the worst we'd seen. (There was one that had a basement smelling like rotten eggs mixed with a very weak febreeze... *shudders*)

So when we saw this house, it was spectacular and amazing. A end unit, hardwood pickled floors, a fully updated kitchen, a walk out basement with spare bedroom and wet bar, 3 beds upstairs, a double sink jacuzzi master bath.

Game. Set. Match.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

We couldn't bid on this house fast enough. It was at THE TOP of our budget but we bid anyway. If we got it even at the top of our budget, it would be amazing. It would be just stunning and everything we had hoped for in a house.

*sigh* Alas, it wasn't meant to be. And by that I mean, we weren't even in the running.

The sellers under priced their house to have bidding wars to get it back up to a good price. A high price. A price.....way out of our budget that we weren't willing to go.

Which is a good thing. You have A BUDGET for a reason. Set it, love it, live by it, stand by it till you bleed and cry. We had people tell us that "Oh, you'll find the perfect house and pay over your budget cuz you just have to have it".  Uhhhhh No. I was never the person to sneak the extra twinkie and I'm not the person to add the extra 20K to my debt.

*pats on back*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Our second Needle taught us the importance of budget. If you can't afford it?? YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT. It's that easy.....and that heart-wrenching. However, this house led us to search in the surrounding houses as we liked the HOA (haters of anything), parking, location, etc...

And we found our 3rd and final needle....right down the street  :)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Needle#3 - Just Right

Comfy and cozy~ <3

Needle 3 was our last and final needle....why? Well, cuz we ended up buying it of course! :)
Was it a fixer upper like the first? No. It actually has a finished basement, an updated kitchen with stainless steel appliances, hardwood floors on the main level, 3 bedrooms, and good storage space.

Was it amazing and awe inspiring like the second? No. It's just a very nice home that's been well maintained and taken care of that fits our needs without requiring a 'fixing' but will require the good ole 'cozy feel' type decorations and living.

The 3rd Needles just fits.

It was in our budget, it was nicely updated, very nice floor plan, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, and really everything we need.  :)

Walking into the house, I just wanted to decorate it. I loved the layout, the openness. Did it whisper sweet nothings? Maybe not whisper, but it mumbled and flirted with me coyly, luring me into a bid.

That we won.

Fireworks didn't go off, parades didn't happen. But there was smiling and victory dancing and extreme happiness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I had hoped to make all this house stuff in one blog post.... I guess I won't be able too. That's okay.

I get to dedicate my next one to the whole horrible process of being approved for a loan.

This is also where I started learning the belief that 'Murphy is a Homeowner'. I'm sure most everyone has heard of Murphy's law? If not, and you are one of the lucky few not effected by this disease, let me be quick to infect you with it's knowledge:

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"

8 small words, all horrible karma.

~AH